The 36-Year-Old Virgin

Lakita GarthHow abstinence champion Lakita Garth kept the faith during the long years before her wedding night—and beyond

By Pamela Toussaint

During the summer of 2005, 36-year-old Lakita Garth kissed her boyfriend of two years for the very first time—at the altar after they said, “I do.”

She and her Mr. Right (literally—her husband’s name is Jeffrey Wright) met at a health conference through a mutual friend. “I decided to preach to him, and surprisingly, he didn’t go away!” laughs Lakita. When Jeff, a successful Christian publisher in Chicago, was able to spar with her considerable knowledge of biblical doctrine, she became even more intrigued. “I wanted a man who could rise to the challenge, someone I could follow,” says Lakita, who was a virgin when she married. “I think women don’t have high enough standards. Guys want a challenge, to respect you and to see that you’re different. As soon as you start putting out, you lose all of that.”

A brainy former beauty queen (she was 1995’s Miss Black California), Lakita travels the nation telling “the naked truth” about sexual compromise. She has spoken at countless youth functions, been featured on MTV, and was a regular guest on Bill Maher’s Politically Incorrect. Her most recent book on abstinence until marriage is titled The Naked Truth: About Sex, Love, and Relationships.

Over two decades, Lakita had many opportunities to compromise her moral standard. However, amid the considerable societal pressure most single adults experience, she was able to stay sexually pure. Her training began early.
It takes a family

“In my family, if you had sex outside of marriage, someone got married, or someone got shot!” Lakita recalls with a laugh. Born and raised in a rough part of San Bernardino, California, she jokes that her widowed mother slept with two men every night—Smith and Wesson.

She claims that her “best forms of contraception” were her four protective brothers. “Growing up, I was taught that rights and responsibility went hand in hand,” she says. “Today, everyone’s demanding rights but no one’s talking about responsibility.”
“I had to go to him when I was lonely. If I could be faithful to God during those times, I know I can be faithful to my husband.”—Lakita Garth

The strength of Lakita’s extended family played a huge role in shaping her strong resolve to stay pure, and to make her life count for Christ. Raised in a then-segregated Alabama, her uncles and cousins called Dr. Martin Luther King a family friend and frequent guest. “I come from a line of Christians that believe your faith must impact the culture. It has to go farther than your personal relationship with Christ.” Self-control, self-discipline, and delayed gratification were staples in Lakita’s upbringing, and are the key points she uses when teaching abstinence today.

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